


at least we stole the show

by leafduds



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, NDRV3 Spoilers, haha this ones a sad one folks, yeah basically everything is the same except Kaito lived after chapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 09:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14691831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafduds/pseuds/leafduds
Summary: “Okay, now will you tell me what we’re doing he-”“Say what’s been bothering you.”Shuichi blinks. What? “You dragged me all the way to the beach...so I could tell you what’s been bothering me? I could just do that at my place, what is this for?” He asks. Kaito laughs like Shuichi said something so wrong that it was cute.“No, not me.” He says.“What?”“The water.”“What?”“You heard me,” Kaito says, “tell it to the ocean. No, scream it at the ocean.”





	at least we stole the show

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from kygo/parson james  
> this fic was so depressing to write  
> i got the idea for it in a test and yeah you read the tags, pretend everything endgame is the exact same except also like..kaito's there because my city now

For someone who dreads waking up in the morning, going to sleep is somehow a breeze. It’s the idea, the feeling, the concept that you can close your eyes and every burden, every mistake, every regret will become..nothing. For Shuichi Saihara, sleep is a drug. It’s an escape and he’s addicted to it. To escaping. Escaping the guilt of making it out alive. Escaping the constant mourning of his friends. Escaping having to think of anything is the point he’s at. He’s tired of thinking, of thoughts. He’s tired. 

He said he was going to live on. To keep going. Ending the killing game gave his life meaning. That’s what he thought, but that’s not what happened.

His friends have noticed. They haven’t said anything, not yet, but they’ve noticed. Noticed his frequent declines to get lunch together, his excuses to not go out, to not talk, text. Shuichi can’t remember the last time he’s done anything.

One day, someone got tired. He knew this day would come, the day someone got tired. Tired of him dragging the group down, tired of his ninny reasons to not hang out, tired of him sulking in his room for weeks, tired of _him_. Only it wasn’t that kind of tired. It was something else. And that’s why Kaito Momota was outside his townhouse door, knocking relentlessly.

Shuichi didn’t have an excuse planned for not answering the door. He only had one car, and it was parked outside the complex. It’s clear as day that he’s inside. Part of him wants to pretend he’s in the shower, that he can’t make it to the door..but part of him also desperately wants to see Kaito’s face. Hear his voice. In the killing game, Kaito always knew exactly what to say to keep Shuichi going, even if he didn’t know it. He wonders, hopes, that maybe, _maybe,_ the same could happen again here. Now.

So he opens the door. He doesn’t check himself in the mirror before doing so either. He doesn’t need to, he knows how he looks. Terrible. Even if he didn’t know, Kaito’s face gave it right away. The way his eyes suddenly went soft, and his lips adopted a melancholic slant. He looked like someone was staring at a caged puppy, who knew it wasn’t getting out any time soon.

Shuichi can’t look him in the eyes. Glancing down to the side he offers out a weak, “hey.”

“Hey…” is all Kaito manages in return. This is going perfectly. “We’ve all been worried about you.” _Why?_ “You haven’t been answering calls...or texts, and, yeah I just thought maybe we could get you out.” _Maybe I don’t want to be out. Maybe I just want to rot in here._

“Oh..um,” he doesn’t know what to say, “sure, yeah.”

This, somehow, is enough to make Kaito light up like a Christmas tree. “Great! Grab some sandals I know where I’m taking you.”

“Taking me? Kaito wai-”

Kaito’s got Shuichi by the arm already, bending down and grabbing a pair of sandals by the door with his other free hand. “No waiting, enough waiting.” He’s pulling Shuichi to the car, releasing his arm as he nears the driver's door. “Hop in!”

The car starts and Shuichi hurries around the side, scumbling into the passenger’s seat. “ _Where_ are we going Kaito?”

Kaito smiles as he whips around to look out the back windshield so he can back out of the complex. “You’ll see!” He says turning back around.

Shuichi sits in horror. He hopes he’s not being dragged out to any more of their friends. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see them, just not all at once, not now. The drive is quiet with the except of the soft hum of the radio, playing so quiet Shuichi can’t even make out what song it’s playing. Eventually, Kaito pulls into a small dirt parking lot wedged between two sand dunes. Oh no. _No._

“Kaito, no-” he starts.

Kaito cuts him off with another one of his famous smiles. “Come on, we’re not even technically there yet.”

“Kaito, please, you know I don’t like the beach, come on.” Shuichi feels kind of pathetic for begging but, he doesn’t know what else to do, Kaito is a persistent dude.

“Nope! No buts, no nothing.” _I didn’t say but._ ”Come on we’re going down there.”

Kaito gets out of the car and goes over to Shuichi’s door, opening it for him like a gentleman, but a bit showier. Shuichi sighs, reluctantly sliding out of the passenger's seat and allowing his feet to hit the ground.

“Here,” Kaito says, handing Shuichi the sandals he nabbed, “put these on.”

Shuichi sighs again. Kaito starts off for the dune leading down to the beach before Shuichi even starts to put on his shoes, causing the boy to rush to catch up, already out of breath when he does.

“Wow? Breathless already? Looks like you haven’t been keeping up with your training.”

_No shit, the game’s over, what’s there to train for?_

Heading down to the beach, the two teens don’t say anything until they’re as close to the water as they can get without getting any more than their ankles wet.

“Okay, now will you tell me what we’re doing he-”

“Say what’s been bothering you.”

Shuichi blinks. _What?_ “You dragged me all the way to the beach...so I could tell you what’s been bothering me? I could just do that at my place, what is this for?” He asks. Kaito laughs like Shuichi said something so wrong that it was cute.

“No, not me.” He says.

“What?”

“The water.”

“ _What?_ ”

“You heard me,” Kaito says, “tell it to the ocean. No, _scream it_ at the ocean.”

Shuichi’s eyes widen in panic. “Kaito, no I’m not- Someone could hear- This is stupid, I-” He searches for the right thing to say but..he just can’t find it. _Scream it at the water?_

“Yeah, come on, don’t be scared. The wind and waves are so loud, no one can hear you! Here, look, I’ll go first.” And with that, Kaito brings his hands up to cup around his mouth and he closes his eyes and yells, “ _I feel really bad that Maki has a crush on me because I don’t like her back!!!_ ”

Shuichi looks up at him, a small laugh escaping his mouth. “Dude, what?”

“Yeah! Anyways, your turn.” Kaito nudges him close to the water.

Frozen, Shuichi gazes out at the ocean. The sky above is pretty dark, and he watches the way the wind ripples the surface of the rolling water. He breathes in and he shouts, “ _I wish I were dead!!!_ ” Glancing from the corner of his eyes, he checks Kaito’s face for any sort of reaction, but he sees nothing. Another deep breath, he yells again. “ _I wish I weren’t so fucking depressed all the time!! I wish my friends were still alive and not me!! Kiibo! Kokichi! Kaede! Fuck,_ ” a hysteric laugh escapes him, tears welling in his eyes, “ _even_ _Kiyo!!!_ ” He pauses to breathe, his chest rising and falling along with the waves. He’s crying now. “ _I wish everything was just..okay!! I just want to_ be _okay_!!”

Shuichi falls to his knees, letting grits of sand dig into his legs as he hunches over and cries. Waves washing in making his entire lower half salty, and grimey, and wet. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he looks up to see Kaito gazing down at him. Without thinking, he pulls Kaito down and smashes their lips together. Kaito doesn’t kiss back at first, too shocked to process what’s happening. Shuichi’s still crying and he can taste the salt of his tears in his mouth when Kaito moves to kiss back, or maybe that’s the water of the crashing waves spraying in their faces. Neither can tell, and neither is bothered to check.

Shuichi is the first to break away, his sobs being washed out by the sound of water thrashing behind him. Kaito pulls him up and slings an arm around his back, helping him back to the car. They’re both dripping wet but Shuichi is too tired to say anything and Kaito doesn’t seem to care, so they say nothing about it.

The car is barely around the first corner back to Shuichi’s townhouse when Kaito glances over and notes that Shuichi is passed out asleep in the passenger’s seat, his head resting against the window and his hair, salty and now-dry, stuck to his forehead.

Returning his attention to the road, Kaito drives the rest of the way to Shuichi’s house. Getting out and carrying him inside and up to his bed where he gently lays him down and removes his shoes. Careful not to wake the sleeping boy, Kaito gently makes his way to Shuichi’s desk, scribbling something down on a piece of note paper and leaving it by the headboard of the bed.

After that, he makes his way out of the room, down the stairs, and outside to his car. Starting it, he drives back home.

When Shuichi wakes, unsurprisingly not until the next day, he can’t remember what had happened. Not at first. It’s when he notices how disgustingly dry his skin is and how dirty his hair feels that everything comes rushing back. They went to the beach. He screamed. He cried. He _kissed_ Kaito, and Kaito _kissed him_ back.

In a panic, he throws himself out of bed, and is immediately stopped by a piece of paper resting on his nightstand that catches his eye.

_Yes, yesterday happened._

_I’m so proud of you._

_Lunch 12:45 at the cafe on the corner_

_you know the one. The whole_

_gang will be there to see you_

_x Kaito_

His friends. Maki, Himiko, _Kaito._ Yeah. Yeah, he can do this, he can see them all. Part of his brain wonders if he’s rushing things, rushing getting better. The other part tells him he needs to be. The clock reads 10:03 a.m. so he has time. He undresses to shower beforehand, knowing he needed one well _before_ the beach.

He turns on his phones internet radio before stepping into the shower, recognizing the first song to play as the one he couldn’t make out in Kaito’s car yesterday.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! please kudos/comment if you liked it, it would mean the world to me <3  
> shoutout to my beta Spooks ilu  
> catch me on twitter and tumblr both @leafduds


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